MARRIAGE - PART 1
Let me preface this entire post with the fact that yes, I've only been married for 3 years, and yes I will probably look back at this post and face-palm myself for being so naive and thinking I had anything important to say... but what the hell... It's my blog so I get to say whatever I want! BOOM!
Sometimes I fee like marriage gets a bad name. Every RomCom and Sitcom growing up joked about how horrible marriage is... "Don't do it buddy" or "It's a trap!" Fast forward to after the wedding, and we see the woman is telling the man everything he can and cannot do, and the guy mourns over all of the "possible hookups" he could have had if he was single. Nothing like a wild and fun night with a side of herpes.......
But here's the thing, I think marriage got a bad wrap from all of these movies and sitcoms.
Yes, marriage is difficult. Living with ANYONE is difficult. Think back to being a teenager living with your parent(s) and/or siblings. It sucked. It wasn't easy. Marriage is like that, but you're actually making the conscious decision to live with someone else for the rest of your life. Yikes.
Before you comment "Just WAIT until you have kids!" ... stop yourself, now crumple that thought into a tiny little ball, and go ahead and shove it in the trash. I don't wanna hear it. I am sure my life will change tenfold when and IF we have a child, but I will handle that when I get there.
Blake and I got married in the summer of 2012. It was (no joke) 102 degrees out. It was so humid it rained for about 10 minutes right before our ceremony. It.was.hot. Blake and I knew each other since high school, dated for some time while teenagers, broke up, got back together... broke up again... got back together... ahhhh the teen/college years. so fun.
We got engaged and married after living with each other for 3 years. I THOUGHT I knew everything I could about him, and then we moved in with each other. NOPE! He is so clean, organized, and precise about things. I on the other hand am like a small tornado who makes my way from one room to another leaving a trail of mass destruction in my wake. This was a problem for us. It caused us stress, and sometimes it still does.
Why am I telling you this? Because it's true what everyone says.... marriage really is about compromise. Maybe that's why people think it sucks? They don't think they should have to compromise or change anything about themselves. But, if you want to be happy and have a successful partnership you absolutely have to realize you're choosing to live with another human, and that human has different opinions, flaws, and routines than you. We both had to learn to compromise. I had to learn that I couldn't just slither out of my clothes like a snake and leave them next to my bed - for a week. And Blake had to learn that sometimes on the weekends, it's okay to not make the bed.
This is something so small. So.very.small. You will go through much more difficult things than making a bed or picking up dirty clothes (insert having a kid comment here!), but this is the foundation for everything...
We, like all couples, live by a set of rules and expectations in our household, and I'll be talking about them in Part II!