DRISCRETE POOPING MADE EASY (A DRUNKEN BLOG POST)
I've been drinking for 4 hours straight to get ready for this post. You're welcome. I've been wanting to do a Drunk Blogging Series for a while, but I didn't really know how to start it. Of course, that all changed during a group chat with some of my best friends. So, we will be talking about poop.... yes, poop.
Anyone else absolutely terrified of pooping in public? That's me. Times like 10.
My best friend recently went on a vacation with her new guy, and she of course texted our group chat about the fact that she was terrified to poop. This friend,of course, will go unnamed ... (Laura).
Oh, you had plans of pooping like a lady? Yeah right. You're on vacay, eating absolute shit for food, and your system is totally fucked. You're gonna need to shit like a pre-teen dude, and it's not gonna be pretty.
so, you're scared shitless about pooping (pun intended). It's okay, all you need to do is use the "shower trick"
What's the Shower Trick? Ummmm, only the best trick ever.
BUT... don't make any mistakes. You've been warned...
- turn shower on.
- Put fan on.
- Don't "Hot Box" it. ***
- Live life.
*** You might be wondering HOT BOX? What the hell is that!?! Well, in some, unfortunate circumstances, there are showers without fans.
Why??? Why MOTEL 6 WHY??? I don't know the answer, but what I do know is that you need that fan on. It's a known fact that farts/poop smell worse in a steamy shower... It's called science.
Lastly. Don't forget - you are a strong independent woman and it's 2016. Just take a shit if you need to. #fairyprincesspoops