MARRIAGE - PART 2
We're talking about marriage, partnerships, long-term relationships... whatever you fancy is fine.
If you haven't read MARRIAGE PART I click the link and check it out first before continuing! Or don't, whatever... #YouDoYou
Marriage is weird. It's hard and yet it's not hard. It's easy but then some days it's impossible. I feel like even in the short time that Blake and I have been married we have learned a lot. Maybe some of the below things have worked for you as well, or maybe you have others. I'd love to hear about what things have been successful for you and your partner and what has made your marriage/partnership more successful! Don't hesitate to comment below!
Things that work for us:
- Compromise: I talked about this one a lot in the first post (HERE!), but it's so important. You take on a unwritten burden to compromise when in a relationship with someone.This is true even before being married. You are on a team now, and you need to support each other.
- Me Time: Blake plays a lot of hockey and golf which provides him plenty of time to be with his friends or even just alone. I like to go shopping, played on a volleyball team for a while, and golf with my best friend all the time. This is important. YES, we both golf. NO, we do not golf together every week. It is okay to do things separately. I see you literally all the fucking time and sleep in the same bed. Lets take a break from each other for a couple of hours.
- But Also Have Together Time: Confusing, I know. But... Blake and I also do golf together once in a while, and we do have date nights. And, that is probably even more important when you have kids. We make time for each other, while simultaneously avoiding each other ... It works for us, lol.
- Don't Say No: This is tricky to explain, but seriously don't tell your significant other "no" unless they tell you they want to jump out of a moving train. Maybe your husband suggests this really awesome face tattoo that he wants and your immediate reaction might be "are you freaking kidding me, hell no!" But wait. It's not about saying "no." You aren't their mother or father, you are their PARTNER. Stop using that word, and instead share why you don't feel like their idea isn't the best choice. It feels a lot more respectful. "I hear what you're saying, but I really think looking like Mike Tyson isn't the best choice for your career."
- Don't Call Me: This is kind of huge for us. We have a pretty consistent plan in place during the work day. During lunch, one of us will text each other to see how their day is going. That is the only time we speak during the entire 8 hours of work. Is it honestly necessary to maintain constant contact? Of course emergencies are different, but day to day we don't text each other every minute of every day. It takes away from your ability to actually talk over dinner about how your day went when you already know every nauseating detail at the exact moment it happened.
- Have Fun: Life can get hard.... just try and make each other laugh once in a while.
- Open Door Policy: This is not in reference to the bathroom. Keep some things a mystery people. For us, this means being really open and honest about money, our career goals, and things that are pissing us off. Money can be the downfall to any relationship, so be open about what expenses you have, what things you would like to save up for, etc. It's the best thing we do in our relationship. We are constantly updating each other on what things we bought even if it's just a sweater at Banana Republic (cough... Blake ... cough)
- Support Each Other: Sounds easy enough, but it's so important for us. Blake and I wouldn't be living in Pittsburgh if I didn't support his dream to move here. No matter how crazy their dream seems, you always need to support them. Blake has been nothing but supportive of this blog, and it's just a hobby for me at this point. If I told him I wanted to quit my job and go work at Starbucks, he would probably say "Hell yeah! and bring me some coffee on your way home!"
- Appreciate What They Appreciate: Just because you don't like football, doesn't mean they can't. During football season, I know that Blake will be occupied for most Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays. I find something else to do or suffer through watching the games with him. If I wanted to go a flea market, despite Blake having no interest, he would completely go with me. Be a team player for your partner!
- Go To Bed Angry: This is the opposite of everything you've been told, but go to bed angry. Instead of talking about something until you're blue in the face, just go to bed. You'll wake up and probably not even remember why you were mad at each other. This is one of the best things that we have done.
- What other things have worked for you!? I'd love to hear!